dear world
Posted by ScarletLovesRufio , 6/11/10 12:02 AM
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oh my goodness im having a shoegasm
by the end of the summer, i will have at least three of them!
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there back..
Posted by ScarletLovesRufio , 6/9/10 10:56 PM
dear reader,
as a reader, you read. simple enough,
and as the writer, i write, again, simple enough.
but me, as the writer, ask you, the reader
why are you here, why are you reading my thoughts?
do the things that make me happy make you happy?
do the things that drain all the happiness out of me intrigue you?
are you glad that it's me an not you?
what made you click the link to my blog?
WHY ARE YOU HERE.
on another note the darkness is back
slowly but surely it's making its way back into my mind
its seeping into any crack or crevice it ca find and making its mark
whispering in my ear, "crystal, you are and always will be mine"
there's no escaping it, just the occasional recess. the occasional breath
sure enough, the darkness has made me its bitch
and i can only comply or it will tear me apart
ripping seam by seam until there's nothing left of me
just a hollow exterior that i wear so well
going back to the old habits of going through the day
so no one will notice that i am beyond hurting
beyond beyond beyond
"crystal, we're back, crystal did you miss us?"
sadly i am nothing without the darkness so here i go again,
there goes my mind
Posted by ScarletLovesRufio 2:22 PM
You say I don't know to love you baby
Well I say show me the way
I keep my feelings (deep inside I)
Shadow them (with my pride eye)
I'm trying desperately baby just work with me
Teach me how to love
Show me the way to surrender my heart, girl I'm so lost
Teach me how to love
How I can get my emotions involved
Teach me, show me how to love
Show me the way to surrender my heart, girl I'm so lost
Teach me how to love
How I can get my emotions involved
Teach me, how to love
I was always taught to be strong
never let them think you care at all
Let no one get close to me
Before (you and me)
I den' shared things with you boy about my past
That I'd never tell to anyone else (no)
Just keep it to myself, (yes)
Girl I know I lack affection and expressing my feelings
It took me a minute to come and admit this but
See I'm really tryna (change now)
Wanna love you better, (show me how)
I'm trying desperately baby please work with me
varsity drive
Posted by ScarletLovesRufio , 6/8/10 10:14 AM
sitting in a car in front of a porn shop
i sit here and think
how the hell did i send up here
it's actually not a complicated story
just a night out with the guys and it's Jame' birthday
so naturally porn plays it's part into tonight's shenanigans
the car and our clothe reek of blue mist and prime times
but were all legal this time, for the first time
our minds clouded with smoke and good thoughts
we absent mindlessly walk into the shop, but me being the idiot that i am
forgot my ID so I'm in the car
laughter breaks the dead of the night when the boys comes back with
lesbian porn in one hand and their cocks in the other
proud as can be because they are men now
but the night needs to come to an end
so we say our farewells and submerge into an abyss
my writiing is not for the weak hearted
Posted by ScarletLovesRufio , 6/5/10 4:51 PM
this year has gone by so fast
and it's a trip that
we
are
done.
graduation was a moment i will never forget, we were all there, in one place, experiencing the same thing, but we all had different reactions. tears of joy, tears of pain, laughter, fear, all present in one place. this was the end of high school. there are so many memories in those four walls that kept us captive for four years, but those walls that i hated so much, i will never resent.
so many hugs and so many kisses, so many good lucks and best wishes, so much hoping for the best for each other, all our differences aside to wish the very best for our peers. moments that were too short, moments we wished we can live in forever. but it all came to an end
as grad night approached, i was sober for the first two hours, and mind you, bored as hell. but being at the happiest place on earth, presented endless possibilities, me being me, i took opportunity by the balls and made lemons into sweet blue and white surprises. happier than ever with music pumping through my veins, i held onto his hand for comfort, to let him experience the ecstacy that i was in, nirvana. . but i don't resent you, i have no regrets, just a lesson learned. when all my happiness came to a halt, it was horrible, i felt so alone, i needed human contact. because i did not want to be alone. but there wasn't enough hands in the bus or the school that could comfort me. the right hand was not there. nor was it anywhere. but i made it through so here i am, a survivor or loneliness, still alone, but a survivor.
just for you badar
graduation
Posted by ScarletLovesRufio , 6/4/10 8:44 AM
i was rolling rolling rolling down the mountain and crashed
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