spoiled bitches
Posted by ScarletLovesRufio , 1/20/10 9:32 PM
i found the place where i want to die, not that its going to happen soon, but i found it today. it's peaceful and hidden in the midst of trees and memories. I've walked and driven past it everyday as far as i can remember. it's perfect. it's also works to my advantage in many ways, i can drive into the trees and the fences, or i can hang myself on the branches. Or i can drift into a comatose state fueled by medication and alcohol. i'm still looking for a less gruesome way to die, but i'm coming up with a blank. I still have time though...
Today i watched the virgin suicides after reading more than half the book. for some reason i have this obsession with suicide, it intrigues me. Cecilia, the youngest of the sisters, knew something we all don't know. i think she was the smartest of the five, opting to die earlier so that she couldn't be scared by the cruel hands of life. but soon after her four sisters followed. Bonnie, hung herself in her pretty pretty dress, Therese got to dream into her death, Mary put her head in the oven, and Lux, my favorite gassed herself in the car with a cigarette in hand, what a classy way to die. I want to pull a Lux, enchanting heart throbs and leaving them breathless after jumping their bones for only a minuete and retreating back into her home. call me a hopeless romantic.....
the rain is giving me an excuse not to go to the gym so i haven't been "producing natural endorphins". not finding many reasons to keep living, but maybe im just being a drama queen...
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