Getting to know myself.
Posted by ScarletLovesRufio , 12/27/12 10:08 AM
I had an incredible mind fuck yesterday at work while talking to a co worker and she just opened my eyes to why I want/date the guys that I do.
Why I don't deal with emotions or affection
Growing up I had some what typical Asian parents and had to work for any attention or affection. It didn't come free. So when it comes to men, I tend to be attracted to the ones that are aloof and don't give me the time of day. That wanting to work for their attention is what I'm use to. For every guy that blows me off or aren't intrigued with me, theres a part of me that needs to have their approval. Theres that insatiable need for me to work for their affection or attention. When someone does give me affection without me having to earn it, I get very turned off and think that there is something wrong with them. Their "free" affection weirds me out and makes me very uncomfortable, because that's not something I'm use to. So here I am, feeling like a bitch because there were the few guys that gave me "free" affection and I blew them off because I didn't know what to do with that, and I'm here to say I'm sorry. It's wasn't you, It was me.
