Posted by
ScarletLovesRufio
,
7/29/10
3:46 AM
I stole this from marielle's weebly, i want to say i'm cool enough to not be one of her fans but that would be lying, she's just really cool.
A
- Available: Yeah and looking for someone that i think is good enough for me and is good enough for me that he's willing to look past all my flaws, because trust me i have so many..
- Age: eighteen going on nineteen
- Annoyance: pimples, bad drivers, when i start to sttuter, people that don't get to the point, people that make excuses
- Animal: cats, hello kitty anyone?
B
- Birthday: December 8.
- Body part on opposite sex: arms, abs and face
- Best weather: cold windy weather, but its still sunny outside
- Been on stage?: lifes a stage....
- Believe in God: i have to or i have nothing to live for, im not religious but i believe God's up there, but i think he hates me
C
- Candy: mexican mango candy
- Color: black, white, pink
- Chinese/Mexican: both?
- Cake or pie: cake
- Cheese: a little, not a big fan
D
- Day or Night: night
- Dance in the rain?: i hate the rain
E
- Eggs: not a fan
- Eyes: I love gray, green, and blue eyes.
- Ever failed a class?: once. regret it. very much, fuck drugs and robbs charming ways -_-
F
- First crush: omar toubat :)
- First thoughts waking up: fuck, i woke up, i couldn't have died in my sleep? fuck, i need to pee
- Food: korean food as of now..
- Fruit: mangos, oranges, apples, watermelon
G
- Greatest fear: not having closure in my life, people i love leaving me, being alone
- Goals: to work for RVCA or at least intern with them by this time next year, be the best i can be in chicago and not slack off, 50,000 a year is no joke for my parents, and i swear i will make them finally be proud of me
H
- Hair color: black, brown, orange, yellow, red, pink
- Height: 5'5
- Happy: When i'm happy i sure the hell don't take it for granted, i know what it's like to not be happy for four years
- Holiday: Christmas, New Years, Halloween
- How do you want to die: quick and easy, nothing gruesome, no funeral
I
- Ice cream: i'm lactose intolerant -_-
- Instrument: guitar, piano, violin
J
- Jewelry: RINGS AND ANYTHING GAUDY
- Job: Life Guard, struggling artist
K
- Kids: eh. i have names picked out, doubt i'll have any though
- Kickboxing or karate: kickboxing
- Keep a journal: blogspot, and weebly
L
- Love: art, reading, writing, going out at night with friends, long drives to think about shit that goes on in my head, not feeling numb
M
- Milk flavor: soy milk
- Movie: inception, Freaky Friday, paper heart, whip it
- Mooned anyone: Never
- Marriage: as if anyone could love me
- Motion sickness: when i was younger i had it badddddd
N
- Number of siblings: big brother, younger brother love them to death
- Number of piercings: had my septum, tragus, second earlobe and not i currently have 2 ear holes an industrial bar so in total 7
- Number: 3,13,33
O
- Overused Phrases: dude, thats unfortunate, fuck
- One wish: to draw anything and have it come to life
P
- Place you’d like to live: i dont know...
- Perfect Pizza: alot of veggies :)
- Pepsi/Coke: coke, pepsi can suck it
R
- Reason to cry: thinking about the past, getting discouraged
- Reality T.V.: entertaining at times
- Radio station: oh jeez 106.7, 98.7, 102.7, 105.9,94.7, and this list goes on
- Roll your tongue in a circle: yeah
- Ring Size: 6
S
- Song: Teenage dream, katy perry
- Shoe size: 8,7.5
- Salad dressing: the kinda my mom makes
- Sushi: sashimi or cruch rolls
- Skipped school: never
- Sing well?: decently
- Strawberries/Blueberries: strawberries
T
- Time for bed: whenever the fuck i want or whenever the sleeping pills kick in
- Thunderstorms: i dont like loud noises
- TV: rarely
U
- Unpredictable: i'm bipolar you never know what you're going to get with me
V
- Vacation spot: anything that'll take me away from my head
W
- Weakness: indulging in sin, males, shopping, i have a very big shopping problem
- Wanted to be a model: everyday but im too fat
- Who makes you laugh the most: too many to name
- Worst weather: anything that consists of heat
X
- X-rays: knees, teeth
Y
- Year it is now: 2010
Z
- Zoo animal: mere cats
- Zodiac sign: sagittarius
Posted by
ScarletLovesRufio
,
7/28/10
11:09 PM
i have high highs and low lows
Posted by
ScarletLovesRufio
,
7/27/10
11:17 PM
Posted by
ScarletLovesRufio
,
7/23/10
8:42 PM
http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=280538794141&ssPageName=STRK:MESELX:IT
selling my jeffrey campbells
Posted by
ScarletLovesRufio
,
7/20/10
8:28 PM
passed out at work today
apprently i hit my head on the way down
so they had to starp me to a back board and give me a neck brace and a head brace
they gave me an oxygen mask and i think i blacked out like 5 times
went on an ambulance
arrived at the hospital and then had a bunch of tests to find out they dont know why i passed out
NICE
Posted by
ScarletLovesRufio
,
7/17/10
11:55 PM
CAMPING CAMPING CAMPING
Posted by
ScarletLovesRufio
,
7/14/10
10:30 PM
picture 5
Brother of mine,
i've been feeling like the biggest failure ever. i got into a fender bender, got a ticket and i felt like i was robbing mom and dad because of winter formal. i feel so bad that they have to take responsibility for me when i don't deserve it. but when i go i'll make sure i'll pay them back. i want to sell the little i do have and leave it for them. i dont want a funeral. i just want to be forgotten. i keep on getting bad grades and i know it's my fault but i honestly can not concentrate. i've been taking adderall just to finish my art because i can't bring myself to do anything lately. I'm so tired of being a disappointment i just want to see mom and dad proud of me like they are of you. i am the child that they can not brag about yet they still love me. i don't deserve any love and it just breaks my heart to see them hurt. I feel like constantly throwing up when i see all my flaws. i'm discouraged to say the least. psychologists, psychiatrists doctors arentl really helping. after this, if it doesn't work i think thats when ill say my good byes.
2/8/10
picture 4
Ilani,i feel like shit, i have random impulses to shop and destroy. i feel like shit my brain is going hay wire but then i'm calm.
3/1/10
picture 3
dear zarina kira leviste
i have this insaitable need to kill myself. i need it. i need the peace that it promises. i am so incredibly sad but i can't seem to leave the world just yet. o;m so glad we got to know each other this year. i love you.
2/1/10
picture 2
my dearest brother,
i can not begin to tell you how insane i have been feeling.it's a new kind of crazy. it use to be my head overwhelened with toughts but now i am compeltely empty. the presence of my depression is still there but i cnat feel it. it's completely blocked out but it's still there. mu thoughts of suicide are way more frequent. my thoughts use to be fleeting but now there longer lasting. every single elevated surface i see, i just want to make a noose and hang myself on it. ever moving vehicle i see, i want to jump in front of. i have extreme urges to get a knife and stab myself in the head chest or let just so i can feel normal. im so consumed and intruged by suicide. i go on websites and research suicides and it seems right. it bring me peace and it gives me howpe. the one thing that's keeping me going os the fact that i don't know what the after life has to offer, being raised in a godly home, i have embeded in my head that god is whats int eh after life. i wan tot believe that theres nothing afther this, i want o believe that my soul will fially get some rest. but the though of god being there agter im dead scares me. so until im certain of what lies ahead or if i get too sad. i'll be here dying everyday insdie.
picture 1
mom, i love you so much that the only way i could show you the extent of my gratitude is by leaving the earth. that way you won't have to deal with me anymore, i'll be gone, out of your hair, please don't be sad when i'm gone because i love you and i never want to see you sad. theres not hope for me, so the day i figure out how i'm going to die, i will make it so that's it's not gruesome or scarring, it will be easy for you.
i love you
november 26 2009
i went to sleep, pretty sad.
maybe it was the subject at hand that was making me feel this way
but then again, i always feel this way
I don't want to go back to where i was.
I don't.
But as i woke up this morning, i woke up sad.
I didn't want to get up
Usually i wake up with an eased mind
My mind erasing anything and everything that wasn't good
but not this morning.
I just didn't want to get up
i wanted to sleep my day away
but i won't
My grandparents are coming today
i love my grandparents
they know my flaws but
they just love me unconditionally
that's how i want to love someone
that would be nice
i like to drink
not alcohol.
that't not my poison of choice
i like to drink water, tea, anything that's not too sweet
yes, yes i do.
i do i do i do
So to the avid readers (Har har) know that I am bi polar and crazy. i recently found my letters i wrote when i was in a manic state to various people, and i thought id share them... readers be advised that these are scary, and i'm okay now.
Posted by
ScarletLovesRufio
,
7/10/10
1:18 PM
(Balenciaga, Marc by Marc Jacobs, Jacobs by Marc Jacobs for Marc by Marc Jacob, Marc Jacobs, Louis Vuitton, Betseyville, Betseyville, Hermes, Christian Dior, Coach)
theses are only my brand name purses, i love a few, the others i can part with..
(from left to right, target, urban outfitters, Steve Madden, Forever 21, Candy) I only really wear the forever and candy, the Steve Madden are seriously uncomfortable but there to sexy to part with.
(L to R, Dr. Martens [Got them for 20$ on ebay :)] Vans, Mocasins from somewhere, Urban Outfitters) I love my Dr. Martens and my Urban shoes the most.
(We who see booties, random flats, H&m)
(Steve madden, Jeffery Campbell, Steve Madden)
These are most of my shoes, i love most of them and i probably wouldn't sell any one of them, i have a weird attachment to my shoes, i can't even throw away the ones i don't wear anymore. it's weird.. So i want to sell some of my things but i don't know where i would sell them, It's mostly clothe and purses, help anyone? I know if i put it on sale on this thing, nothing would sell, because i don't have many readers... so Suggestions please? and please no Ebay, or craigs list... hello? is anyone there
Posted by
ScarletLovesRufio
,
7/6/10
10:56 PM
What my dorm consists of!
Private kitchenette (9-cubic-foot refrigerator, built-in microwave, 2-burner stove, cabinet space, and sink)
Private bathroom
Cable Box with Remote
Drafting table(s)
Desk chair(s)
Individual voice mail, phone lines, and internet connection
Heating and cooling unit
Window blinds
Closet space with closet organizer
Beds on the floor will be extra-long twins; lofted beds will have double-sized mattresses
perks of going to a private school, did you see the PRIVATE RESTROOMS!!?!?!?!
Posted by
ScarletLovesRufio
,
7/5/10
12:18 PM
I really need a fucking cigarette
