failure
Posted by ScarletLovesRufio , 6/22/10 9:10 PM
reminiscing about the past, I've come to the conclusion that I am a failure.
Failure to keep promises to myself and others, failure to accomplish anything worthwhile
now that i'm stable, i don't have any fire in me, everything is calm and steady in my mind,
the chaos and confusion all lost in a memory
therefore there is nothing that drives me to be better, to survive
I didn't get into the college i wanted, i ended up with not even a back up plan
just a college i applied to because i accidentally walked into their room at portfolio day
the thought of attending SAIC never even crossed my mind until I fucked up my chances at MICA and RISD.
I am a failure as a daughter, only bringing financial problems and heart ache to my parents
a genuine fuck up. I never intended to bring anyone down on my account, but just the fact that i'm here is draining all the energy and love away from the people around me
I am a failure, because the memory of me is so fleeting, so i will never make a mark in this world
When i'm in front of you i'll be your everything, I'll occupy so much of your mind capacity you'd swear you're in love with me. but the moment i leave, all the memories we've had will go with me, and i'll just be another "what was her name." i'll never be the one that's on your mind, i'll never be the one worth fighting for. I'll forever more, only be the girl that you stumbled upon and not the girl you were looking for. my thoughts are so jumbled in this post, in that way, i'm a failure too. i can't even simply communicate my feelings and thoughts in an orderly manner because i fail, i fail, i fail.
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