Bitch and rant #1
Posted by ScarletLovesRufio , 3/15/10 9:44 PM
I am so uninspired right now. No one, nothing, as of right now is making me want to create anything. Especially myself. I need to find myself a muse but it seems like everything and everyone has told their or its story over and over again, and nothing strikes me as new and fre$h. or maybe it's the fact that i cant lift my pencil or paintbrush without creating shit work and all i want to do is doodle and not work on my concentration even though im terribly fucked over because i have to somehow whip 8 pieces out of my ass before april FUCK.anyway let me talk to you about my inner and most intimate details about SEX. yes sex, it seems like that shit is haunting me. I mean there's one side of me that wants it ever so badly, but one part that says i should continue to save myself. But i have signed my virginity to a perfect boy and this even should commence in the summer sometime sigh, i really don't care about myself enough to stop it if i wanted. I just dont care about myself. I smoke wayy tooo muchhhh and i really don't give a fuck, I only go to the gym because i care about how people see me. But personally i would just like to kill myself now. Just knowing that i have to live with being bipolar for the rest of my life really really really sucks, but that's just me of course. I don't want to have babies, I don't want to fall in love. I don't want to feel. Everything is temporary and fleeting so i want to die. Enough is enough. I dont think its much to I AM FUCKING ANGRY RIGHT NOW.
the end
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