let me over anaylize everything
Posted by ScarletLovesRufio , 11/5/09 7:54 PM
honestly, yesterday was a better day, i guess being ballsy gives me something to think about, other than the shit that floats around in my head. So this week i discovered all of things, one being what others think about my physical appearance. Yeah, i wear odd clothing and have weird shoes, but thats how i chose to express myself. but mostly, i hide behind my clothing and accesories, hoping that no one will notice the fat that chills on my stomach, the stretch marks on my thighs, the weird angles my knees are at, how big my head is, how dark my armpit hair is, and so many other things. i have a big frame, i know, when social interview asks what my best features are, i got an answer saying my height, how the hell is that suppose to make me feel? thankful that im a mediocre height? naw. I get that im not a dainty little asian girl, and it sucks. i want to be small and skinny, and have no fat at all. be able to eat anything and everything without gaining a pound instead of slaving over at the gym trying to burn off the calories of the piece of toast i just ate, because its going to show. Id rather be flat and have no curves and be able to fit into ruffles and delicate dresses instead of having to get a size bigger in most clothing because it wont accomodate my boobs. I dont like being compared to Khloe Kardashian because i know that everyone knows that shes the fat weird amazon one that doesnt compare to her small sisters. so when i rant about my weight and my appearence, let me, because it helps me cope with what i cant have.
on another note
i dropped my phone into my bathtub. fml
i can not wait till college apps are over and i could start my life, ill have more time to make dresses and what not, get a job and get some $$ yeah i cant wait.
Post a Comment